(Spurred by Kavanaugh confirmation hearing) Survivor of sexual assault speaks out

Dear Editor:

As a victim of sexual assault, I am tormented by the Kavanaugh scandal. I have been sexually assaulted on several occasions in my life. The first time when I was 10 years old by ab family member. That family member actually told the family of what he did to me, years after the incident, and nothing was done, he was mentally ill so he had “an excuse”. I felt ashamed.

Victimsofcrime.org reports that:

  • 1 in 5 girls is a victim of child sexual abuse, and of those girls, 3 in 4 of them were assaulted by a family member or close family friend.
  • 63% of women who had suffered sexual abuse by a family member also reported a rape or attempted rape after the age of 14.

This initial assault put me at risk for additional assaults, and not only have I been explicitly violated by two separate people as an adult, I cannot count the times that I have been “touched”, rubbed against or told sexually inappropriate things.

Several times in my life, something like this Kavanaugh incident happens and brings all of the emotions and memories back to life in my mind. It is traumatizing for me to hear the horrible things being said about Dr. Ford. I do not know her, I do not know if she speaks the truth. That is not for me to figure out. I do know that many of the things she is criticized for such as: not knowing how she left, telling Mr. Judge hello a few weeks later, I TOO CAN SAY THESE THINGS. If you have not experienced this type of assault you do not understand what it does to your brain. I still do not have the courage to speak publicly about my abuse or abusers, and seeing how she is being treated only confirms my fears of how I would be treated.

Even further insult is that Dr. Ford felt a civil responsibility to give her testimony. She does not want him impeached, nor does she want to press charges. She should actually have some peace in her life now that she has gotten this out, however, now she is called a liar for not wanting him to “pay”. Each vile word that is spoken of her cuts into my soul because I have a similar story but no one wants to know the truth.

Just remember, when you are posting on Facebook, or talking to friends, chances are that women you are close to have been sexually assaulted and are harmed by the hatred that is being spewed into the world at the moment.

I write this anonymously as I do not desire sympathy, nor hatred in my life. I have been married for almost 20 years, have two children, a busy career and a great support system in my life.

On a final note, I do not hate Judge Kavanaugh. I am a Christian and all things can be forgiven.

A survivor.

Comments

comments